Clark Archives III
	1.12.01 My humblest apologies for the delay on this week's (bi-weekly, whatever) article, "jojo the greek" has been in mourning since the loss by God's team.  Well, I have moved on, and now after a great football season for God's team,  I look to the future and I see great things for God's team, unlike the Chefs who just because they got a little Dick doesn't mean they are going to know how to use it. This week's article could have been on the classless acts of the KC Chefs, or about how tricky Dick is going to turn things around. However, the Jo has decided to stay away from sports for a little while and change course to society issues pertaining people we know well. If this column was not titled Clark's Corner, the title for this week's article would be "Does Larisa know what the hell she is getting into???" This is something that I have contemplated for a while, and given my first amendment rights, I feel this should be addressed. The reason that I am bringing this up is that I have known John for some time now. Does Larisa realize the effect that some of John's roommates had on him? And no I am not talking about John Taylor, because obviously Granger turned out straight.  But, I am talking about that piece of shit, raindrop will break my back, Hank Hill wannabe, satan worshiper. You might know him as Clif Brown. Does Larisa realize that John and devil child would spend days and days with the door locked in the frat house, and all you would hear is an occasional riff from Led Zepplin, or John and asshole try to sing along with the songs. They were no Page & Plant, but more of a Captain & Tenille. Also, does Larisa realize that John use to run around and sing "Angel in the Centerfold" ?  However, when John did see sunlight, he was actually a damn good third baseman in softball. This was the only thing that kept me from thinking that John was gay. Now we move to John's family. Ma and Pa Granger, the best. Everytime I would come over to visit, pizza, BBQ, didn't matter, the Granger's were there to serve. It was after the fifth trip that I realized that not only was I using them for their hospitality, but they were using me for my height. For their cleaning purposes, they would ask me to reach light fixtures so that they could dust and clean. In all seriousness, John's parents are the best, but Larisa did you see Cinderella? This brings me to John's sister. This individual has brought great pain in my life. Being the gentleman that I am, I always attempt to make peace with this person, but every time she treats me like her punching bag. Well actually in her case she would be punching my kneecaps, but that is besides the point. Does Larisa realize that having a sister-in-law like Linda (this is actually another individual I call the devil child) can be very damaging to a person's psyche. If Larisa had one wish before getting into this relationship, it would be making John's sister a mute. Or maybe that is my wish. In conclusion, I just want to say that I wrote this article for Larisa's own good. There are many things that Larisa needs to know about John, and this is the tip of the iceberg. I guess I should say congratulations, and I wish you the best, but that just wouldn't be my style. So I say "pay your bill, kill yourselves, I hate you all."
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