Clark's Corner Archives IV
1.24.01
JoJo "The Greek" is back. After a much needed article away from sports, the Jo has decided to
stick with his bread and butter (At least until I have time to figure out who I can mouth next).
Today, being the generous
individual that I am, "The Greek" is giving you two for the price of one. First let's talk about the
Super Bowl. Many factors go into determining who "The Greek" will pick to win this game. Part
of me wants to go with the alcoholic, Kerry Collins. He says he's a recovering one, but lets be
realistic, how many of us have got up after a heavy drinking night and said, "I am never drinking
again!!". We all have, and did you drink again? ...exactly. Part of me wants to root for Orenthal's
Simpson's cousin Rayenthal Lewis. The cousins are remarkably similar: you have one of the best
running backs ever to play the game and one of the best linebackers to ever play the game. Both
are exceptional with cutlery, and both are exceptional at lying when it counts. Also when you look
at the Baltimore defense, you think of excellence. When you look at Tony Siragusa, you think of
Ryan Cole. (Although rumor has it that he is more of a "Refrigerator" Perry now. That means he's
lost a little weight).
Taking all of these most important factors, I have decided to take Baltimore to win the Super
Bowl 17-13. Now, if you have a good friend like myself, Mr. Bookie, then you not only want to
bet on Baltimore, but the under as well. This meaning that the total score will not go over 33.5
points. But if your a real man, I know that eliminates John and Chuckie but does include Linda,
you can bet on the more important game. Bud Bowl. This used to be the best. I have heard that in
Vegas, you can bet on this game as well. Well, Bud Light has been screwed too many years, this
year Bud Light rolls.
The other game that I was referring to earlier is Big Monday, Mizzou vs. the Gayhawks. MU has
pulled out all the stops. They are honoring Norm "The Geriatric" Stewart. They are putting in fans
(as in circulation fans) all over the arena, just to see what happens if Kurt Hinrich and his ears can
catch a draft. They are expecting my twin brother (in body style) T.J. Soyoye, to have a big night
in shutting down Eric Gayowith. Bottom line, your bet the mortgage pick of the week is MU over
Gay U. Gay U is favored by 7+, so there is no reason not to take the Tigers, unless of course,
you are gay.
The Jo has spoken.