The Guest Column
	3.16.03 - By Eric "Sinbad" Severing I am uncertain how happy I can remain in a world where even porn is deceit.  I can abide the women with the best bodies money can buy and breasts that would revolutionize the poultry industry whilst simultaneously ending world-hunger. Accept the implants, the polyester hair extensions, permanent tattoo cosmetics, plastic eyelashes, airbrushed enhanced skin without blemish, tanning bed colored epidermis, collagen powered DSLs (if you are overly lost on being a techno-geek and can imagine nothing other than Digital Subscriber Line for this acronym just quit now and pick up a book on programming - ROM chips are your future). I have acquiesced to the over-exaggerated plots of appliance servicemen entering the innocent lady's home, that she owns nothing more than street hooker attire, that there is not a single pair of flat soled shoes in the residence,  and that she is naive enough to honestly believe that the man wearing make-up is there to repair her appliances. There is no other choice than to accept that men in porn are fine with their schlong hanging out of their pants before they have even entered the residence.  My expectation in life is that men are rather thorough in maintaining a sealed fly, especially in an era of harassment lawsuits rearing themselves as frequently as there are breasts on the planet (real and artificial). What I am incapable of abiding is the stunt dick. In accepting all of the above as fantasy; are we to believe that stunt dick's acting is so horrid as to detract from the porn? Why the deceit? Is the actor and stunt dick combination the key to prevent the unraveling of illusion? Would the entire scene fall apart and leave the target audience unsatisfied without the combination? Amidst all the fantasy, is it crucial to incorporate this one suggestion of realism in order to produce a cohesive story that will entrance the audience and fade their reality? In agreeing that this is true, we can make a reasonable argument that this combination is the foundation of porn and the women involved play little more than a secondary, dare say unnecessary, role. One could almost eliminate the women altogether. Scary; is it not?  My thought is to keep the guy with the small penis and the acting ability as elephant dick is blocking my view of the honeypot.
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