The Guest Column
	1.13.04 Clark's Corner Now, I know what you're thinking, its one of two things. You're either thinking who is this guy or what in the world has taken so long for this idiot to write another column? To the ones who are thinking who is this guy - I am what I like to call the voice of reason when it comes to sports and other miscellaneous rumblings. To the ones thinking what has taken this guy so long to write another article - I apologize, but only half-heartedly. One year ago, I had written a masterpiece, a Picasso, or Piscapo as Mr. Rowlett would call it. It was the top 11  greatest comedies of all time. It was sent to the owner of this website, names will be excluded, but he looks like a 30-year old Mr. Burns and his last name rhymes with the team A-Rod plays on. Anyway, that article mysteriously disappeared causing "Mr. Burns" to ask me to resend the article. Of course the masterpiece wasn't saved.   It was a simple copy and paste to the website, what could possible go wrong? It was concluded that Smithers deleted the file. Enough on how that was his fault.  Let me get to some quick points. First of all, congratulations needs to go out to the real National Champions of college football, the LSU Tigers. People who know me, know I am a huge LSU fan, so it might be a little biased, but let me explain my reasoning. The BCS is a joke, when Nebraska made the national title game a few years ago, and didn't even play in their conference title game, they had to know something was wrong. With that in mind let me help you realize two important reasons why there still is only one champion. One, USC was the champion of the AP poll, the AP poll is a component on the BCS, enough said. The second reason can be easily analyzed this way. When you're beginning a marriage, you agree to love, honor, so on and so forth. At the end of one year, do you say, well I agree with what I said earlier in the year, but that girl over there looks real pretty, I think I will be with her now. This system, as bad as it is, was agreed upon, until death do they part, at the beginning of the year. LSU was the ugly girl you married, USC looked pretty at the end. Would USC beat LSU? In my opinion, maybe, the best offense against the best defense, it would have been great to watch. Now it's time to go to the other end of the spectrum. The absolute worst team in the college, the Mizzou basketball team. Before I go into this, if you would like to, on petitiononline.com, there is a petition out there to have Quin fired with almost 200 signatures. Granted some of them are Norm Stewart, Ricky Clemons, MU president and his wife, etc., but you get the point. Now instead of telling you every single thing that is wrong, lets looks at some of the individuals and use Caddyshack to cross reference the analogy. Quin coaching reminds me of Judge Smails. He thinks he is good at everything....not so much. You notice how Smails goes through the whole movie looking like an a**, enough said. Linus Kleiza, my new favorite player, is Danny Noonan, the hard working, underappreciate person in the movie. Tony Harvey and Lane Odem (MU assistants) can both play Ty Webb. They are really good at what they do, but we don't know what that is. Also, they have money to throw around!!! I think Kroenke is Wang. You know the guy who is with Rodney's character at the pro shop taking pictures. Does he really have any business being in that movie. Exactly. Jimmy McKinney is Spalding. Doesn't matter what you tell him or teach him, he is going to do his own thing, and its going to be wrong. AJ and Ricky Paulding can take turns being Carl Spackler, you never know what they are going to do next good or bad.  Finally, Ricky Clemons is the gopher. A weasel would probably be more fitting in this situation. Hopefully you get what I am trying to say here. They really aren't that good. Bring back Norm!!! On to pro football. There have been some really unbelievable games so far. I would like to give a couple of awards to some people at this point: The Quin Snyder coaching award--Mike Martz for his end of regulation decision. Runner-up (tie) Mike Sherman for knowing when and when not to go on fourth down. Greg Robinson for being just like Quin--not good. MVP--Freddie Mitchell. Are you kidding me--4th & 26. How do you get open. Manning has done OK so far. Predictions: Carolina 20 Philly 17 Pats 24 Colts 21 (Vanderjadt misses tying FG at end) Super Bowl: Pats 17 Cats 10
			MASTER INDEX And For No Apparent Reason Archives Baseball Because I Can Baseball Betting Pool Fat Guys Get Naked Too Fiction Football Betting Pool The Gogs Guest Article Mitch's Multi-Monthly Meanderings Mixed Bag Naked Indian Lesbians The Professor Sex Stone