The Greatest Sporting Event I Ever Participated In
I played a lot of sports from the time when I was a kid through college and law school. I played baseball, soccer, softball, football, and some
hockey. I would love to tell you all about the time I hit two homeruns in one game, or pitched a dominating three hit shutout, or the time I scored six
goals in one hockey game in law school, but, unfortunately, I am not the main character in The Greatest Sporting Event I Ever Participated In. That
honor goes to Dan Kuester. Some of you know Dan, and others of you have heard of Dan because of his own brand of "Kuester Logic," (which
deserves it's own column some day), but this story doesn't involve Dan's rationalizing skills, it involves his athletic skills. I knew Dan from college, we
were in the same fraternity. Dan is a big guy, not all that fast, but he was a pretty good basketball player. He played on our intramural basketball
team that, I believe, won the championship. But Dan had never really played baseball or softball. He understood the game, followed it, but had
never played it before.
During Dan's senior year of college, our fraternity had a really good intramural softball team. This fall will mark the tenth anniversary of the events I
am describing, so my memory may be fuzzy about a few of the details, but I believe that we finished the regular season in either first or second place
heading into the playoffs. There were something like eight teams involved - the four fraternitys and several club teams. We breezed through the first
round game and were scheduled to play the semi-final game on a weeknight. The problem was that, by a random fluke, the night it was scheduled
was a conflict for several of our players. When we arrived at the game, we were short one player, when we usually had at least a couple of backups.
Dan happened to be at the game to root for us, even though he never played. And, being the supportive, loyal, and do-anything-to-help type of guy
that Dan is, he volunteered to play so that we wouldn't have to forfeit the game. Someone stuck a glove on him and we put him out in rightfield where
we hoped that he wouldn't hurt us too bad.
The game was a tight one. Not having all of our regular players was a handicap that the other team exploited. Dan hadn't cost us too much in the
field, but he had not been productive at the plate at all. I honestly don't remember, but I believe that he may have even struck out every time he came
to the plate. It was frustrating for the team - not that we were blaming Dan - because we knew that if the scheduling had been better and all our
regulars had been there, that we would have won easily.
The game wound down to the seventh inning (the last inning played in intramural softball) and we were down by a run. I came to the plate that inning
and got on base. By the time there were two outs, I had advanced to third, and Dan was up. This part I vividly recall. I was standing on third base,
knowing that in all liklihood our season was over, praying for a miracle. It really didn't look like we were going to get one. Dan swung weakly at the
first pitch - his swing wasn't level, he was reaching for it too early and trying to smack at it instead of waiting on it and driving it. He missed the
second pitch, too and it looked like the game was over. The third pitch came and Dan swung awkwardly, but made contact. Somehow, incredibly,
the ball was in the air, in fair territory. It seemed to hang there forever, but suddenly I realized that the other team had made a critical mistake. They
had cheated in, thinking that if Dan hit the ball, it would be a little dribbler in front of the plate. But Dan's awkward swing could only result in a ball hit
in the air, and Dan was strong enough that the ball was going to carry over the infielders' heads. The ball dropped just past the infield dirt behind the
shortstop and I ran home. Dan was standing on first base with the biggest smile I have ever seen on anyone's face. The crowd that had shown up for
the game were going crazy and our team was beside itself. The game had seemed like a hopeless cause moments before, but now we knew there
was no way we could lose. Since we had put Dan last in the batting order, some of our best hitters were coming up to the plate. Momentum was
ours. A batter or two later, Dan scored the game-winning run from third base and was mobbed at the plate by everyone. It was as if we'd just won
the World Series.
Dan's response after the game was "That's it, I'm retiring from softball and going out on top." It was The Greatest Sporting Event I Have Ever
Participated In. It was the Miracle on Dirt.
And For No Apparent Reason
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