A lawyer in Arkansas was found guilty of mailing a snake to a neighbor. Apparently the man and his son were feuding with these neighbors and the
feud escalated to the reptile-as-a-weapon level. [Insert your own obvious and clichéd lawyer/snake joke here]. At least the guy made it a family
affair. So many times fathers don?t spend enough time with their children, but here we have a man that is involving his son in his vendettas. The
unusual dedication brings a tear to my eye. What?s the deal with having a feud with your neighbor anyway? Mafia feuds and gangland feuds make
sense, but the suburbanite neighbor feuds are the ones that always crack me up. It usually starts with feelings getting hurt over lawn decorations, then
escalates with a Hatfield girl falling in love with a Capulet or some shit. Next thing you know, people are mailing snakes. I always found it fascinating
because on one hand, the blind devotion to your family is sort of admirable, but on the other hand, it also involves a complete disbelief that a member
of your family could have been at fault for something. I love my family and all, but it certainly would not surprise me in the least if some of them were
at fault for instigating some sort of feud.
*****
In other father-son violence, here?s a story of a guy who tried to turn his stepson into a programmed murderer. He recorded a tape of himself
whispering suggestions to kill his four year old son and then played the tape to his sleeping ten year old stepson. His motive had something to do with
stopping his mother-in-law from getting custody of the kids. I?m not sure how that works, but logic apparently isn?t this guy?s strong suit anyway.
His attorney claims that he has done nothing illegal since there is no proof that playing the tape could reasonably cause the ten year old to murder the
four year old. Isn?t this a great country we live in?
***
Do you want to own a piece of the Big Cheese? This guy is selling property rights on the moon. He claims that he has legal grounds to stand on, but
everyone that is in touch with reality tends to disagree. Regardless of whether this guy is full of it or not, his company earned over $1 Million last year
selling moon plots, so maybe he isn?t crazy, after all.
*
The prosecution?s star witness has testified in the Martha Stewart case. He admitted that he told Martha that the founders of the company dumped
their stock in time for her to dump hers before the public announcement was made that made the stock worthless. He also admitted that he later lied
about the cover-up. Herein lies the main problem with the star witness: he?s an admitted liar. Great testimony, but how much credibility can you give
the guy when he has admitted that he has no problems lying? I believe him though, but I?d believe him if he said that Martha sprouted horns and a tail
and called upon demons to guide her in her business ventures.
And For No Apparent Reason
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