[Note: the new Mixed Bag image is from a Google image search for Mixed Bag. This is apparently a mixed bag of yoga mats.]
It is really disappointing when Hollywood decides to make sequels nowadays. Certain movies are intended to have sequels because the story takes that
long to tell, like Star Wars, The Godfather, or that horrible Lord of the Rings crap. But other movies make sequels because they made good money with
the first movie, so they might as well spit out another piece of shit. The disappointing part is that the first movie is usually somewhat decent (Get Shorty,
The Whole Nine Yards, etc.) but then the sequel is obscene (Be Cool, The Whole Ten Yards...).
Sequels like those make you appreciate it when movie producers didn't try and squeeze every last nickel out of a good idea. Several classic 80's movies
were begging for follow-ups, and if they'd been made today, there is no doubt that many sequels would be made like "The Day After Sixteen Candles" or
"The Breakfast Club 2, Senior Prom" or Ghostbusters II... oh, wait.
Anyway, without any further ado, here is one sequel that I'm glad they never made:
Ferris Bueller, Part 2 - Freshman Year
Background: Ferris has graduated high school and has moved on to the state university. We learn that Cameron's father beat him to death after discovering
his wrecked Ferrari (Ferris looks at the camera and says "Life moves pretty fast, Cameron tried to stop to look around and it ran right over him.").
Plot: Since Cameron is dead, Ferris has no roommate and is assigned someone to live with at the dorm. It turns out that he gets a linebacker on the
football team who immediately starts calling Ferris a "fag" because he's wearing a beret and a vest. Sloane comes to visit the first weekend and quickly
realizes that she's far too hot to be dating a dork like Ferris, so she ends up sleeping with Ferris' roommate after the jock tapes Ferris to his own bed with
athletic tape. The big finale is a scene where Ferris has to stay up for three days straight, writing term papers for the whole football team in a vain attempt
to get on their good side.
Side story #1: Ferris' sister goes to the clinic and finds out that Charlie Sheen gave her herpes to go along with her crack habit.
Side story #2: Edward Rooney is caught with kiddie porn on the his computer at the high school, he claims Ferris planted it.
And For No Apparent Reason
Archives
Baseball
Because I Can
Baseball Betting Pool
Fat Guys Get Naked Too
Fiction
Football Betting Pool
The Gogs
Guest Article
Mitch's Multi-Monthly
Meanderings
Mixed Bag
Naked Indian Lesbians
The Professor
Sex Stone