1.8.04

 

I just don?t get it.  I really don?t get it.  If you are a normal person (i.e., not an alcoholic or a sociopath or anything else that forces a person to accept an unconventional social existence), when was the last time that you really had to beg someone to go out to a bar and have a few drinks and hang out? This doesn?t happen very often to me. Further, once you?re at the bar, when was the last time that the entire night went by without somebody saying, ?I?ll get this round.?? 

When I ask you to come see my band play, that?s really all I am asking.  Please come out with me to the bar, you pay the cover, I?ll buy you a drink.  The only catch is that you have to watch me F*** around on guitar for an hour. Then we?ll hang out for the rest of the night. It doesn?t sound like a bad deal to me. 

The band has been around for a few years and played in about a dozen venues in the area.  While we don?t have major labels beating down our door, we do have well-written, original music that is played with the emotion of four friends that are really having a good time.  It saddens me that tens of thousands of people will line up and pay $30 to watch a group that has been on a bus for the past couple of weeks and are sick and tired of the same people and the same songs and I can?t even beg my friends to pay $5 to come out.  Unfortunately for minor-league musicians, this is an all too common occurrence.  This week?s ?And for no Apparent Reason? phrase that pays is? ?Come see my band?:

 

1) http://groups.yahoo.com/group/longislandmusicscene/message/546

since joining this list, the only people that have come see my band perform are dan skinner and kenyon hopkin.

§         Okay, I don?t feel so bad, this guy is in waaay worse shape than I am.

 

2) http://www.stereolaffs.com/old_site/wwwboard/messages/367.shtml

Aw man, you old farts gotta get out of the stone age and get CURRENT. Come see MY band, MOTT LE CROO! We do the Crue songbook even better than they did, and plus we got HOT dancing girls onstage for the total live video experience. Since Claude banned the ROCK, we're playing secret house parties, drop me a line and I'll tell you the next one. Unless you'd rather just stay home and lissen to your moldy oldys.

§         This guy isn?t helping at all?

 

3) http://www.williamelias.net/archives/000271.html

 the last three emails i have gotten from my so called friends are this in this order: you owe me money, you should come see my band play and you should come see my band play. long time no see guys.

§         From what I read, this guy seems pretty cool, but it does provide a real example of what I?m talking about

 

4) http://pub97.ezboard.com/ftangzinefrm2.showMessage?topicID=58.topic

 Part of me is upset about it and then another part of me is glad that I won't be dealing with all the "come see my band play and buy my Cd's" crap.

§         I had to put this one in because I hate trying to sell merchandise too.  Unfortunately, its part of the game.  I need equipment, I need strings, I need gas money, I want beer.  In order to play at the better venues, I need a demo.  In order to actually get the gig, I need a demo that sounds halfway decent.  We can?t rely on our rich Uncle Granger to finance us forever.  I am truly sorry that I have to do it and I am sure that most people who have ever bought a CD or t-shirt from me can tell from the look on my face that I feel dirty.

 

People react to the simple question, ?Wanna come out and see my band??  as though I had just invited them to a Pampered Chef party and reminded them to bring cash.  I know what you are thinking, ?If you guys were any good you would have a following by now.?  That?s an excellent point.  You might be right, F***er.  The only answer I have for that one is there are a handful of individuals (you know who you are ? and thanks) that were there for the first miserable show when Mitchell almost killed the bartender lady when he kicked the monitor off of the rickety elevated stage,  (That action alone was worth the $3 it would have cost you to get in) that were there for our last show.  Based on this fact, I have to believe that if I can get more people to just hear us, I can get more people to keep coming back.

I am not very good at meeting new people, but I was determined to do my part to recruit fans.  It was at this point that I did the unthinkable?  I went into a Yahoo! Chat room and tried to sign up some new people to come to the shows.  Here is a copy of the message field of the e-mail I sent to my band-mates about the results:

 

?My recent attempt at enlisting new fans by going into chat rooms was largely unsuccessful. In order to find people in the area, you have to go into the romance sites. Then you have to explain to fat women why you are in a romance site but aren't interested in romance. Then I received the unsolicited opinion from some lady that "my bright orange shirt does little to hide my beer gut". I then asked her how she thought I was trying to hide my beer gut when the photograph was of me drinking a beer. Then a rather nasty argument ensued. At least I tried...?

 

 

My final point is two-fold:

 

1)                        Make it a resolution to go out a few times a month and see a local act (preferably mine, but any band will do).  Its possible that you might hear some truly horrible music, then again, you might get hit by a bus on the way home tonight.

2)                        Internet chat rooms are full of some of the most desperate and sad individuals on this planet.  Quite frankly, I think sad and desperate individuals are actually pretty funny.  So it is at this time that I am proud to announce my new column, ?Go Chat Yourself? ? Look for it in a few days on this very site.

 

COME SEE MY BAND!  FRIDAY, JANUARY 9^TH, 2004!  LIVE AT BENDERS ? DOWNTOWN KC,MO www.thegogs.net

 

Love,

 

Metten