Just don?t think about it too hard.  That?s the only advice I can give you.  It?s just too fucked up.  If you think about it too hard, you will kill yourself.  This notion brings me full circle, in the fourth sentence already? a new world record.  Unfortunately for you poor unlucky readers, you can?t comprehend the comprehensiveness of it all because you aren?t privy to the thought process that allowed me to arrive at the suicide paradigm in the first place.  Well I?ll fucking fix that?

 

This week?s (yes, I know it?s been more than several weeks since I submitted anything ? shut up) phrase that pays is: ?a human life is worth". Here goes:

 

• four hundred and twenty nine prisoners?in exchange for the remains of three ? soldiers, and one living civilian, a suspicious businessman
• This is from some piece of Israeli v. Palestinian propaganda.  I have cut it heavily in an attempt to remove the bias.  The final result was what was funny to me.
• ??you probably heard about the road rage inspired dog killing. When Sara McBurnett bumped a car near the San Jose Airport in California on February 11th, 2001, the driver of the hit vehicle was ticked off. He approached Sara's car, grabbed her 10 year-old bichon frise (a dog) and threw it into traffic. The dog, Leo, was hit and killed?Over $120,000 was donated. ((the perpetrator) was eventually caught and sentenced to three years.)? People, we are talking about a dog here. In the US, 14,000 people are murdered by firearms per year?
• I would have tracked the guy down to give him the key to the city.  I hate those yappy little things.
• Who cares if some economist said a human life was worth $7 million or $8 million or $10 million? A chemist will tell you that the elements in your body have a collective market value of about $10.
• If I was a chemist, that would be the sentence with which I would start absolutely every conversation I had with everybody.  Ever.
• the government set a price for it four years ago: $6.1 million.
• Is there anything that the man doesn?t know?
• a human life is worth "many sparrows"
• must have been one of those Japanese translator sites again?monkey monkey racecar Kodos banana
• According to surveys, Americans think a human life is worth $7m. The Japanese say
  it is worth $10m. How much do the Taiwanese surveyed think a life is worth?
• What am I, on the fucking family feud?

 

That question is bullshit to begin with.  It?s all relative to so many factors determined by each individual (financial worth, societal worth, political worth, spiritual worth, are they going to travel to the future to kill space invaders bent on rendering the human race extinct?, etc) that it is impossible to appraise the ?generic? human life.  It is at this point that you should be asking yourself, ?Hey Metten ? how come you?re still talking about this if you decided that it was bullshit so quickly??  Great question, voice in my head?

 

So I spend about six hours a day reading various pages on snopes (www.snopes.com) because everything is so neat, tidy, well written, well researched, well cited and just generally entertaining.  I am, however, ashamed to admit that I imagined such obviously intelligent and articulate people would be more attractive (http://www.cnn.com/2001/US/10/03/rec.false.rumors/index.html).  At any rate, I was on snopes and I come across a page (http://www.snopes.com/politics/kerry/pizza.asp) where a guy was sending an e-mail to everybody he knew trying to convince them not to vote for a John Kerry because the candidate stole his pizza.

 

Seriously, I know you don?t care to hear about my politics.  I most certainly don?t care about yours. The point is that war as we know it in the United States has been the product of unilateral Presidential dictation for over 60 years.  Right or wrong ? every person (U.S. soldier, enemy, innocent bystander, little yippy dog, whatever) that has been killed as a result of U.S. military action was ultimately killed because of the President of the United States? will, desire or policy.

Literally tens of thousands of people have been killed over the past 60 years because, for one reason or another, the President thought it was a good idea.  And this guy is pissed about his pizza?

 

I don?t give two fucks who you vote for.  My well-informed-thoroughly-thought-out-for-the-betterment-of-my-countrymen vote will be cancelled out several thousand times over by men who fondly recall female genitalia when they hear the word ?Bush?.  All I ask is that you don?t base such an important decision on who stole whose pizza or who cussed out which reporter or who looks like a monkey versus who looks like a horse.  Please take exactly one second to listen to allegations like these and then prioritize.  Actually, now that I think about it, female genitalia is actually pretty important to me?