Winter stifles the mind.  Everything?s dull and lame and cold.  I have a theory that animals that hibernate don?t do it because they are complying with some sort of mandate from Mother Nature; they?re simply utilizing the most convenient method for getting away from the cold ? and the grey ? and the lame.  I know I would be a lot happier if I could sleep until May.  

 

I tried a few phrases and nothing was really breaking out as especially funny.  Except that the amount of people that have published a ?humor? web site is staggering. Do me a favor will ya?  Go http://www.whois.org, get their phone numbers, call them and tell them they suck.  Except for me, I already know I suck, plus my number on there is fake anyway. 

 

Almost none of it is funny and almost none if it is so absurd in its genuine efforts that it?s funny in that cool pathetic way (http://www.enotalone.com/article/58.html).  It?s almost all too good to be pathetically funny and too bad to be legitimately funny.  I was stuck.

 

As I sat back and reflected on the events of a particular day, a common phrase presented itself.  On at least three occasions I heard somebody refer to somebody else as, ?that chick with the something.?  It was ?that chick that answers the door in her bathrobe, not matter what time of day it is?, ?that chick with the thing on her face?, and ?that chick with all those loud kids?.  And we are back in business:

 

http://www.whiterose.org/ginger/misc/immlass.html

 

• Look out folks??Immigration Lass? is going to sweep the Grammy?s.  I thought my nickname, ?pompous asshole?, was bad?

 

 

...and Silent Bob was goin to be played by Louie Anderson. I this true?

You mean that chick with the vocoder who bangs Lou Reed?

 http://www.viewaskew.com/newboard/messages461/386.html

§         You mean you can go to the View Askew message board and ask Kevin Smith a question?  That?s awesome!  Plus, he has some ?splaining to do about Jersey Girl.  The notion that a project like this might ever exist in the world is funny enough but the Lou Reed line made me lose my shit for some reason.

 

Yeah. Im Christine, that "chick with the hatch." And by the way, Buddha is my fiance. Give me a few weeks and I will race whatever you got. Oh, and that first race was an obvious lose, but the second turbo integra obviously watched me run and knew what he was up against and he wanted to run. So in conclusion to everyone in the board, why hate? We're sappose to be a lil "racing community" so chill out, put up or shut up.

http://www.dragva.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-41082.html

§         Man, there?s nothing worse than a hater within a community of people in Virginia who customize and race small foreign cars against each other.  I would call them a bunch of losers, but then ?Buddha? would probably come and fight me.  I have little doubt that, in that fight, I would have an ?obvious lose? on my hands.  Buddha is pretty powerful, even if his ride weighs 60 pounds and only has four cylinders.

 

There you have it.  Although most of the hits from that search have something to do with ?that chick with the big rack?, there were a couple in there that were worth a damn.  Alright, I gotta go back to pretending to work now.  If there?s a phrase you think would be funny, send it to me and I?ll run with it. Later.