| ADVICE COLUMNS SUCK |
||||||
| One of your most emphasized points about sex is to make sure that whoever you're involved with is mature, safe, and can handle the consequences. On the other hand, many people disagree with couples if there is a large age gap. What do I do if the only guys I'm finding that are mature, safe, and can handle the consequences are men older than me? - Jody, Age 17 from New York I'm not worried about them, Jody. I'm worried about you. You seem reasonable and thoughtful, yet you're playing with fire nonetheless. Why is it so easy to see that these men need to be mature, yet you plainly ignore yourself in your observations? 17 year olds have no business having sex. They don't have the resources to handle the consequences of unwanted pregnancy or even something as simple as a case of crabs. Saying you're responsible and actually being responsible are entirely different. One is lip service. The other is tangible. If I got a woman pregnant today, I'd have enough money to pay for an abortion, or alternatively if we so desired, to pay half the expenses in raising the child. You, on the other hand, would be paralyzed by fear at the prospect of explaining to mom and dad how this happened. You would be forced to rely in every way on the finances and experience of others to solve your problem for you. Understand the difference? - The Man First of all, You have GOT to check this asshole out. He runs this website and I am positive he does it by himself. I am also relatively sure this guy looks like Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons. Here is the page I got this from - what do you think? http://www.theaman.com/channel1.htm That's right, this guy calls himself "The Man", holy friggin' crap - I am pretty sure he got those pictures from a flyer for a gay pride rally. The preliminary advice that needs to be given is to anyone that would: A)Believe the crap this guy is saying; B) Read this loser's site; C)Ask for his advice; D) Do what he says - is to realize that you are making a grave mistake. Please report to my house for a swift kick in the reproductive organs. A-man's 1st mistake: He openly contradicted Isaac Hayes (a.k.a. Chef from South Park). It was stated clearly that the appropriate age to start having sex is indeed, 17. If you believe A-man over Isaac Hayes, hit the back button on your browser right friggin' now, 'cause I don't want you having any association with me at all. A-man's second mistake: Misinterpreting the question. The poor unfortunate woman made the mistake of asking this piece of crap an honest question about a real problem she is having. She can't find anyone close to her age with which to engage in sexual intercourse. Apparently A-man thought she asked for a lecture from a pimply fat virgin. If you go to the bastard's site you will see that he requested to view the pubic region of a 19 year old in some previous advice. How much sexual maturity can be gained in two years? Not much unless you work as a whore. She asked you a genuine question, asshole. A-man's third mistake - Condescending to the person in need of advice. This little bitch makes bold references to how much better he is than the person with the problem. That's a great way to establish ethos, dumbass. "Great!! I'll tell you that you are stupid!!" A-man's fourth mistake - Pretending to write an advice column. I normally fear for people that receive advice from feeble-minded fuckers like A-man. Fortunately for "Jody", I am relatively sure that she is entirely fictional, which is good for her, because she got shitty advice. A-man's fifth mistake - Not killing himself. This is a mistake that I hope A-man remedies quickly. Fuck off and die A-man. Love, Metten |
||||||
| MASTER INDEX Advice Columns Suck Archives Baseball Because I Can Betting Pool Clark's Corner Fat Guys Get Naked Too Fiction Football The Gogs Guest Article Mitch's Multi-Monthly Meanderings Mixed Bag NCAA Tournament The Professor Sex Stone |
||||||
