THE GAMES WE PLAY
White girl-I think I have a problem. Usually when I date guys things seem to be cool for awhile and then it always just dies out. A
couple guys told me that I call them too much but I don't what else I'm doing wrong. They just lose interest or whatever but it
bothers me!! I just met this cute ass guy the other day and he asked me for my number but he's older than me and he said he
doesn't like to play games. I don't want to bore him or anything and I'm trying hard not to sweat him because he's too cute! Do
you have any advice for this hopeless chick?
Signed, Hopeless In Brooklyn
Dear Hopeless In Brooklyn:
Didn't I just say dating is a sport? Games are the way we keep romance alive. They're in our blood. Playing hard to get or leaving a
little to the imagination allows the girl to be wooed and appreciated and the guy to be challenged and intrigued. Look-no matter how
badly you want to dial his digits you're better off curbing your enthusiasm when you're first dating. Absence creates anticipation
and a feeling of "If I don't see her now, I'll die." When he calls, let your voicemail pick up now and then. It shows him that you're
worth the wait and effort. Allow him to simmer, wondering what you're doing. I hope that helps-other that that you're on your
own.
--- The White Girl
Hey kids. This one comes from Hot 97 (NY,NY). On their website, they employ this friggin' retard who calls herself the white
girl. I understand why she calls herself the White Girl. Take a look at their playlist:
1 Love Of My Life / Erykah Badu f/ Common
Real Player Windows Media MCA
2 Talkin' To Me / Amerie
Real Player Windows Media Columbia
3 Lose Yourself / Eminem
Real Player Windows Media Aftermath / Inerscope
4 I Care For You / Aaliyah
Real Player Windows Media Blackground / Virgin
5 Satisfation / Eve
Real Player Windows Media Ruff Ryder / Interscope
6 React / Eric Sermon f/ Redman
Real Player Windows Media J Records
7 The Realest / 50 Cent f/ The Notorious B.I.G
Real Player Windows Media Shady / Aftermath/
Interscope
She's called the White Girl because she's the white girl that works there. Why she has decided to give people advice, or why
people seek stupid assed radio personalities to give them advice, I will never fucking know. Let's go ahead and look at this one for
shits and giggles:
The advice seeker opens up by saying that she's annoying. "Guys tell me that I call too much"? Okay if a guy says you call too
much, YOU ARE UGLY, YOU NEVER SHUT UP, AND YOU CALL WAY TOO MUCH. This is the girl at the bar that never
shuts up about how she got her upper lip waxed or some stupid shit. She's the girl standing between you and the hot chick. So
anyway, she then says that some guy asked her for her number. The obvious advice here is - go get him, you finally found
someone that you don't drive crazy and isn't absolutely disgusted by your physical appearance. Marry him. Christ.
Then it hits the fan: The white girl tells her to start playing. Here's where I get pissed. DATING IS NOT A SPORT!!! GAMES
DO NOT FUCKING KEEP ROMANCE ALIVE! Games are the reason I will probably end up divorced. Games are never fun for
the man, they start out with phone calls and dick teasing, which is a pain in the ass but tolerable because the sex is new. After it is
all said and done, I have to try to figure out if my wife really means it when she says, "Here's the remote, you can watch whatever
you want honey." Have you guys ever fallen for this one? You turn it to football, then you don't get any for a month because you
were supposed to know to be thoughtful and turn it to Brian Boitano's Ice Skating Adventure, which is what she really wanted to
watch.
Hey Lady!!! Stop playing games and tell the man what you want. Hey White Girl!!! Because of you I am going to start
answering the phone at work, "Good Morning, I am a White Male, how may I help you?" Hey Men of America!!! The White Girl
is the reason you have to guess what your woman really means whenever she opens her mouth. Please take your dating
frustrations out on her.
Love,
Metten
P.S. - Good job Mitchell! Your Column was finally funny.