Mitchell's Multi-Monthly Meanderings
		Part Two has finally arrived.  Today Troy gives us soggy Wheaties and the terrible, terrible consequences of internet porn. why doesn't microsoft come up with a software that can recognize questions based on the w-words and insert a question mark automatically? NEVER ASK QUESTIONS BEGINNING WITH ?WHY CAN?T MICROSOFT??  WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? why can't my pinkie finger hit the question mark on the first try? MR. HOME FOR SPAGHETTI DINNER SUCKS AS A TYPING INSTRUCTOR. why do birds suddenly appear every time i am near but only in warm weather? VANITY "why ask why, drink bud dry" what the fuck is that supposed to mean?  dry beer is about as good of a marketing ploy as soggy wheaties. MMMM?SOGGY WHEATIES oh very young what will you leave us this time?  isn't all life just stream of consciousness? SCOOBIE DOO CAN DOO-DOO.  BUT JIMMY CARTER, IS SMARTER. why give a discount for buying three cookies?  wouldn't someone else just buy the other two? GOOD POINT. why do mcdonald's minimum wagers look at me like i'm crazy when i try to order a nine piece nugget value meal? BECAUSE YOU?RE CRAZY. why can't there be a nine piece value meal?  shit, why not a twenty piece?  i could eat twenty but i know those bastards would only throw two barbecue sauces in the fucking bag. MOVE TO KC.  WE HAVE 9 PIECE VALUE MEALS! i don't masturbate with my cursor keys, why are they sticky? SORRY THAT WAS ME. why does aquafina water bottled by pepsi cost more than pepsi, when you don't get the sugar or the caffeine?  is it really less expensive to put that shit in? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, ANDY ROONEY. did the people who said "if gore doesn't get elected i'm moving to canada" actually move to canada?  if they did why can't they export some of that cheap stuff since it's flowing like mud down here? I HAVEN?T SEEN ALEC BALDWIN LATELY? is mitch actually gonna read all of these questions?  will he systematically respond to each and every one? YES.  YES. why do assholes carry yellow lighters so no one will steal them?  fuck them a piano is gonna land on their stupid, unlucky heads. IF YOU STARTED STEALING THEM YOU COULD END THEIR REIGN. is it no one or noone? NO ONE.
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