Mitchell's Multi-Monthly Meanderings
Welcome to the final installment of Troy's Muli-Monthly Meanderings.  This time Troy talks about my
Canadian girlfriend, expresses his displeasure at the homeless and introduces the rest of the world to
Bastardized Metten Kings (don't ask.)

if the talking dog and the talking gecko would fuck, would the offspring be an annoying dog or an annoying
gecko?
DOCKO

since fitz's offers unlimited fries with a purchase of a sandwich can they even hope to stay in business?  why
does the price of steins fluctuate based on who is working?
YOU SURE DO COMPLAIN A LOT ABOUT BEER/JUNK FOOD VENDORS.
                                                                                                        
can greenspan come up with an economic model for that one?  he better not say we need to wait and see
how the market will respond.  i'm sick of that shit.  i need answers now.
GIVE HIM A BREAK.  WHEN 900 YEARS OLD YOU BECOME?AH YOU GET THE IDEA.

How much money would we have to come up with to get dr phil in the ring with tyson?
WHO THE HELL IS DR PHIL?

i haven't used a floppy disk since high school, why do they still make them?
http://www.techtv.com/screensavers/opinion/story/0,24330,3416776,00.html

shouldn't at least my section of the world revolve around me?
YOUR GRAVITATIONAL PULL IS QUITE IMMENSE.

since only dead people know, isn't it possible hell froze over a long time ago?
WE?LL BE HANGING OUT THERE SOON ENOUGH.

are buses really better for the environment when they drive around empty all night?  who can figure out
those schedules?  if there was a bus waiting outside my door every morning and it would take me to work
without stopping and i wouldn't have to sit by anyone else and i could play my own music, i might consider
taking one of the things.
NOT TOUCHING THIS ONE.  METTEN?

does the guy who finished the internet has massive chafing on his right hand?
ONE SICK PUPPY, THAT?S ALL I KNOW.

why do trees lose their leaves in the fall?  what quitters.
LIKE LOSERS WHO QUIT SMOKING!

when people like mitch say "she's from canada you wouldn't know her"  are they all talking about the same
slut?
YES, KEYMASTER AND I DOUBLE TEAMED HER LAST NIGHT?  OR? ?OUTTA TORONTO,
SHE CAME TO US??

frontal lobotomy or a bottle in front of me?  why not both?  not gonna fucking remember anyway.
GOOD IDEA!  I?LL GET MY PEOPLE ON IT RIGHT AWAY.


why do rich people live on the top of buildings when they can afford to pay for heat?
BETTER SPLATTING WHEN THEY FINALLY JUMP.

if only the good die young why is zsa zsa still alive?
BECAUSE BILLY JOEL IS A LIAR.

when you misplace your license why do the kwik e mart people let you buy smokes with a non picture
having blood donor card?  Why didn't i know this when i was sixteen and asking bums to buy me shit?
TROY ONCE GOT CARDED FOR MATCHES!

Greedy cardboard dwellers.  if i had a quarter for everytime i had to say i didn't have a quarter i could
open a homeless shelter.  why don't they ask for twenties?
NOW, THAT IS, WITHOUT QUESTION, THE FIRST TIME I HAVE EVER HEARD THE TERM
?GREEDY CARDBOARD DWELLERS?  GOOD JOB TROY.

why do i feel an inexplicable urge to light up everytime a don't smoke commercial comes on?  i bet phil
morris knows.
WHO DO YOU THINK IS PAYING FOR THE ANTI-SMOKING COMMERCIALS!

how many times can you lose your favorite hooded sweatshirt before you give up and have a favorite
button down?
IT IS NOT A FINITE NUMBER, BUT IS DIRECTLY LINKED TO ONE?S AGE

why do categories in bmk always fail to live up to their potential?
BECAUSE WE?RE DRUNK.

in goodfellas why do i always start to cry when liotta becomes a rat?
YOU ARE GAY

old yellers a fucking comedy.
YOU CRY AT GOODFELLAS!!!!!!!!!

when i try to iron why do i get a negative effect?
BECAYSE YOU IRON.

why do moving people ask big guys to help when they know they're gonna have to feed them?
LITTLE PEOPLE EAT TOO, BUT THEY CAN'T LIFT A COUCH ALONE.

why do you have to buy all those krackel and mr goodbars to get the special dark?  why can't they just
make the special dark?
NEVER ASK QUESTIONS IMPLYING "WHY CAN?T NESTLE?" WHO THE HELL DO YOU
THINK YOU ARE.

if car dealerships can leave all their lights on at night, why can't i?
BECAUSE YOU CAN

why wouldn't bogart get on the plane with the hottie?  what a homo.
YEAH, HE CHOSE LOUIS FOR CHRIST?S SAKE

are we gonna have to put up with brat pack reunions in 30 years?
I SURE AS HELL HOPE SO

Why don't dairy queens stay open and sell mittens in the winter?  i'm done now.
THANK GOD

We're finally done!  Back to normal MMMM next week.  Don't forget your submissions!
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