Mitchell's Multi-Monthly Meanderings
		2.21.05
	MMMM Other People’s Children       I have a niece and a nephew.  “But Mitchell,” you say, “You’re an only child, how could you possibly have a niece and nephew?”  Fine.  They’re Parker and Logan Metten.  They call me “Uncle Mitchell.”  So there!       Since I have no kids of my own, I’ll brag about my bass player’s.  Here’s a few of my favorite moments they’ve provided recently. 1. Mr. Potatorangeman       Metten and I were playing NCAA College Basketball on X-Box.  We were playing in “Mascot Mode” where your team dresses up in the mascot’s uniforms.  I was The Kansas Jayhawks and Metten was The Syracuse Orangemen. Parker watched the game for a few minutes, then commented: “I don’t like those birds, I like the Mr. Potatoheads.” 2. At Defensive Tackle, from Northern Illinois, # 78 Thomas the Tank Engine.       Parker likes Thomas the Tank Engine.  During the NFC Championship Game, Hollis Thomas made a big play.  Joe Buck said his name.  Parker misheard him, and shouted out “Thomas Thomas!?!?” 3. Why?  Because We Like You!       Logan is just learning to talk.  She calls me “Minnie.”  Its cute, but what am I?  Mickey’s Girlfriend?   4.  Did he get mustard on that dog?              Metten and I were playing Madden on the X-Box.  I guess the roar of the crowd reminded Parker of going to Royal’s games.  He said, “We go to the Baseball game, we say ‘Go Royals!’ then we go get a hotdog!” 5.  You’ll be Malfunctioning within a Day, Aunt Sheila.       I have a little robotic R2-D2 at my house that beeps and rolls around and stuff.  Parker likes to play with it when he comes over.  For his birthday, I bought him a little toy R2-D2 and C-3PO.  When he opened it up, his Aunt asked him if he knew who that was.  He looked at her, as if to say “Duh” and went “Its R2!” 6. Bear Hug       For Logan’s birthday, I got her a little stuffed bear.  When she opened it, she eyed it with disdain for a moment, then smiled from ear to ear and gave it a big, grappling hug.  She grabbed it and a stuffed doggy she got from another relative and started carrying them around.  The bear was still strapped in its box. 7. I’ll take the Les Paul Gold-Top in the window.              My Mom made me a painting of my guitars, saxophone and Shitty-Shitty Bang-Bang (Granger’s crappy drum kit.)  The painting is hanging on my living room wall. Once, Parker pointed to the painting and asked me if I would get that guitar down so he could play with it. 8.  Fair Play Rules!       During the Superbowl, I told Metten that we’d go look for something in my truck (code for smoking) as soon as The Eagles punted.  Parker said “Punt?”  I explained that that’s when they kick the ball.  Sure enough, two plays later The Eagles failed to convert on third down.  Joe Buck informed the audience that “An Eagles punt is forthcoming.”  Parker heard it and yelled “Punt?!?!  He said Punt!” ... later
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